Tag Archives | side job

Side jobs (Pizza, not anything dirty)

So, I’ve been busy the last few months with a side job. Not a CNC related one; just a regular ol’ extra job. Mainly because money continues to be a thing I need if I don’t want to live in a box. I have been slinging pizza for the man, because I can’t sling rocks.

Still, crummy side jobs do have the added benefit of the sheer entertainment value and humor. Take this scene from the other day:

[SCENE OPENS]

Our hero is standing on the porch of a trailer.
Knock knock!
After a minute I hear from inside, “Shut up, you assholes!!”
Me, “Pizza!”
Pause. “Shut up you assholes!!” Pause. “Wait a minute, dude!”
There’s the sound of a LOT of empty bottles falling, which goes on for a minute or more.
“Hold on, dude!”
More bottles falling. Pause. More bottles falling.
Is this guy running a recycling center in there?
More bottles falling. “Hold on, dude!”

The waiting. It’s the hardest part.

It’s a single wide. How long can it take to get to the door?
“Hold on, dude!”
More bottles falling. Finally, the door opens. Surprisingly, he is not wearing a shirt.
“It’s 19 bucks, ” I say. He stares blankly for a while.
“What?”
“The total is 19 dollars. For the pizza.” Still more staring.
“Didn’t I pay online?”
“No, you called in, and said you wanted to pay cash.”
More staring. Then he goes back inside. There’s the sound of even more bottles falling. How could there be any NOT on the floor already? A couple minutes later he returns, and pays. Of course, there’s no tip, unless you count that I finally could leave.
Keep in mind, it’s 12:45 in the afternoon.

Take away

So, what the job doesn’t pay in money, it makes up for in humor! But I’d rather have money.

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